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He still cared for her but in the same way that he cared for himself.So when we’re dating, we have to watch out for this.The boundaries could include not allowing others to continue to hurt us, ending some situations, and so on.In dating, we will quickly end dysfunctional situations because even if dysfunctional behavior isn’t initially directed at us, eventually it probably will be.We each function within a metaphorical behavior bubble.Within each bubble there are very specific rules that we all follow. When others do, we start treating them the way we treat ourselves.I was tired of going to bars and clubs and searching for love on match making web sites.
So yes, it is so important to find someone like us, but we also need to be like someone we want to find. If we don’t do that, then we will attract someone who is unhealthy and isn’t taking care of himself or herself.
When they make a mistake, do they angrily punish themselves? It may not be easy to pick up on that, but if we observe, if we take our time, the truth will unfurl, and we’ll begin to see how they treat themselves.
Then we’ll begin to see how they interact with our world.
When we have an argument with them, how do we interact during that argument?
This isn’t that hard to figure out; it just takes time.
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Are you getting a headache from a specific person or just everyone you meet? Fact of the matter is, if it wasn’t for Dan, I wouldn’t have met and connected with Jen, a wonderful girl whom I’ve dated for a year.